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Night Owl Poetry – Dorinda Duclos

~ "The silence of the night awakens my soul"

Night Owl Poetry – Dorinda Duclos

Tag Archives: panic attacks

Time Stops – #VJsWeeklyChallenge – #Cinquain – #wait

05 Tuesday Nov 2019

Posted by Dorinda Duclos in Writing Challenge

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

#poetry, anxiety, Cinquain, dorindaduclos.com, encouragement, life, Night Owl Poetry, panic attacks, poems, VJs Writing Challenge, wait, Waiting, writing

I wait

Watching the clock

Anxiety seeps in

Time ticks by me ever slowly

Then stops

***

I dread waiting, for doctors, for things to happen, for traffic, for anything.  I have anxiety.  If I’m stuck somewhere, I panic.  Even simple places like waiting on line for an author to sign a book.  This happened to me recently. I should preface this with, I was just getting over being very ill and really wasn’t myself…

My daughter and I went to a book signing at the local book store.  We were excited.  We were going to meet one our favorite actresses and she’d be signing her new book.  The time for her arrival was slated to be 6PM.  We got there about 4:30PM, and were fifth in line!  Around 5PM, they allowed us to journey downstairs, through the winding ropes, and take our places as we awaited her arrival.

My daughter makes friends easily, as she did this day.  I had no idea what they were chatting about because by that time, the walls had started to close in.  I am also claustrophobic, and we were backed up against a wall.  It was 5:40PM.  Only 20 minutes to go.  Come on, Dorinda, you can do this.  I couldn’t.  I told Alyssa I was going upstairs to get some air.  The truth is I was having a panic attack.  I walked outside and really freaked.  Running back in, I asked for the ladies room and quickly locked myself inside.  Alyssa texted me with “What’s wrong?”.  I told her.  She was upstairs and by the bathroom before I could open the door.  We left.  No autograph.  I was heartbroken thinking I ruined her day.  But I have an amazing daughter.  She told me, “It’s okay, Mom.  I really just wanted to spend the time with you.”

Although I still feel horrible about her missing out, she made sure I knew exactly where I stood in her life.  If not for my daughter and husband, I’m not sure where I would be today.  I do know this. I am truly blessed…as long as I don’t have to wait.

V.J.’s Weekly Challenge #71: Wait

©2019 Dorinda Duclos All Rights Reserved

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Panic ~ #poetry #dark

13 Monday Aug 2018

Posted by Dorinda Duclos in dark poetry, Poems, Poetry

≈ 34 Comments

Tags

#darkpoetry, #poetry, dorindaduclos.com, dreams, emotion, night, Night Owl Poetry, night terrors, nightmares, no sleep, panic attacks, poems, visions, writing


The medication is beginning to wear thin

Night terrors return, with a frantic fury

Evoking strange visions, conjuring the dark

Encapsulating me, like a jail cell, but the bars!

Claustrophobia has nothing on these feelings

Like solitary confinement, there’s no escape

I’m trapped in my own fear, flailing my arms

Still you sleep, with me screaming on the inside

And you not hearing on the outside, please wake up!

Unlock this oubliette, find the door to set me free

I call your name, no response, the silence deafens

My heart, racing, beating, as it longs to release

Scattered breaths, this taunting inside me

And when it finally does, I am spent, and you wake

Realizing, this is my life, this is how I cope with it

I panic, it attacks, with no cavalry to rescue me

No savior, only me, finally fighting my way out

The easiest way to deal with this, is to not sleep

So I don’t, and I won’t, and I can’t live like this

 

©2018 Dorinda Duclos All Rights Reserved
Photo via Pixabay CC0

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