Category Archives: Love

Holiday Traditions

12 Thursday Dec 2013

Posted by in Life, Love, Memories, My Thoughts

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We all have them.  They are the things our parents and grandparents did when we were small, that we may still carry on today.  I’d like to share one of mine with you.

My mom always had the house beautifully decorated for the holidays.  I used to marvel at how patient she was hanging tinsel on each branch of the Christmas tree, a tradition she carried on from her mother.  Our tradition was the white Christmas tree on the hearth of the fireplace.  Decorated with red satin Christmas ball ornaments, the tree sat in the corner, giving the room a homey feeling.  You would think that sounds odd.  How could a white, artificial tree, be homey.  But it was.  It represented our family.  Every year, without fail, the tree was found in its spot.  As mom got older, she stopped decorating as much as she used to, eliminating the white tree, along with other things.

Lives get busy and emotions change and I found myself moving away from the traditions of my childhood, and creating new ones for my own family.  But something was always missing.  An empty space among all the decor.  And I could never put my finger on it.  Until now.

As most of you know, I left the wedding and event industry after 15 plus years to pursue a greater passion.  In doing so, it has also given me the time to reflect on my life.  What I did, what I am doing and what I have yet to accomplish.  Have you ever taken the time to do this?  Most of you will say no because you’re busy running out the door to get to your jobs, or your child’s soccer or baseball game or just running, in general.  We all need to do this at some point in our lives.  If we don’t, we will lose ourselves.

And so, as I prepared to decorate my own home, a task that had lost some of its luster over the years, I decided it was time to make a change.  I simply stated to my husband that I wanted a white Christmas tree.  I explained the sentiment behind it and he said “if that’s what you want, then do it”.  And we did.  I wanted my mom, who is up there in her years, to experience those days of long ago, once again.  She has no idea we did this and I can’t wait to see her face when she comes in the house.  We do not have a hearth to place the tree on but it does sit in the corner of the room, adding a warmth that I never imagined I could feel again.

ImageMy little piece of comfort…

It’s so important to have traditions within your family but even more important to carry them forward so that your children and their children will have these memories.  It doesn’t have to be a holiday tradition.  It could be as simple as flying a kite on the beach.  It is whatever feels right in your heart.

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www.dorindaduclos.com

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Wedding Industry Gets Slammed Again

09 Monday Dec 2013

Posted by in Life, Love, My Thoughts, Wedding

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The wedding industry has once again been slammed.  A writer for the New York Times Magazine wrote a piece entitled The Wedding Fix Is In, claiming non-transparency & uneducated consumers as the industries downfall. I beg to differ.  As a past wedding and event professional for 15 years, I saw nothing but transparency with respected vendors who knew their product and how to sell it.  The article questions pricing, price gouging probably defines it better.  This is how it is.  If you hire a professional, someone who is willing to take the time to sit with you, go over what your visions are, and then bring these things to fruition, you’re going to pay.  If you’re looking to have a wedding for $30 a head, all inclusive, you might as well go to McDonald’s.

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A lot of the problems today stem from reality television, shows such as David Tutera‘s My Fair Wedding.  They aren’t realistic visions for today’s average bride & groom.  We’d all love to have that fantasy wedding, but the real reality is most can’t afford it.  So you’re back to where you started.  Shopping around for that best price.  But always be aware that there are scam artists out there.  Use references & referrals from friends and family members who have actually worked with the person before.

Hire a wedding planner.  Yes, do this.  She or he will guide you in the direction you need to go, within your budget.  More than likely, the planner works with a group of “preferred” vendors, and the savings can be passed on to you.  This is not to say that you must go with the planners vendors.  You may already have some of your own.  Again, she or he is there to guide you, to keep you within your budget.  They also see to it that everything falls into place for you, taking on the stress of the event so that you can enjoy your day.

Getting back to transparency.  Most wedding vendor sites have their pricing online.  The plus side to this is you can view and decide if this vendor fits into your budget without wasting your time or theirs, if the fit isn’t right.  All aspects of a wedding do not fall into this category of online pricing.  We’ll take photographers, as an example, because they seem to be targeted more frequently than most other event vendors.  Keep in mind that every brides expectation of her big day is not the same as the next bride who asks about photography packages.  The photographer can begin at your home, follow you to the church, etc, and then complete the day during the reception.  A timeline may look something like this:

Brides Home – 10:00AM includes family photos, getting ready

Church – 12:00 – 1:30PM includes ceremony and after pictures in the garden

Reception – 2:00PM – 6:00PM

Total time – 8 hours, without travel time, editing and printing/sending you your photos.  If you’re thinking you’re going to spend $500 on photography for an eight hour span, think again.  This is where the memories are captured.  You want a professional.  Not Uncle Harry with his camera phone.  Of course you may decide to only have the church & reception photographed, so the amount of time required, changes.  And so will the price.  Because of the differences in what each bride wants, one set price cannot be displayed.  You’ll find most wedding vendor websites, such as photography, will have a caption stating “Packages begin at”.  You have a starting point and you can decide whether or not this fits your budget.

It all comes down to this…a wedding isn’t just a party.  It’s a once in a lifetime (you hope) event.  If the pricing stabs you the wrong way, you might want to consider eloping, or having a small dinner party for your closest relatives & friends.  No one says you have to have 200 plus people attend.

It’s all about the love between two people.  Even if it means standing in front of the justice of the peace or your town mayor, with your two best friends beside you, then go for it.  You’ll be celebrating your lives, together.

original photo via arabiangazette.com

Copyright 2013

www.dorindaduclos.com

All Rights Reserved

Random Acts of Kindness

06 Friday Dec 2013

Posted by in Life, Love, My Thoughts

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A Random Act of Kindness is described as “a selfless act performed by a person or people wishing to either assist or cheer up an individual person or people.”1  The keyword here is selfless.

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This is something you do because it comes from your heart.  Can anyone explain to me why people find it necessary to “brag” about what they’ve done?  You do it because it’s the right thing to do, not because you’re looking for recognition.  So many of us  have so much to give to others, just get out there and do it!!  Forget about telling your Facebook friends, your twitter followers, etc.  Just know that what you did made someone else smile and go on your way.  Imagine if we all did this, what a wonderful world it would be.  More smiles, less hurt, more happiness, less tears.

Do what you can and don’t look for anything in return….always be sure to show compassion and kindness to strangers..for you never know when you may be in the company of an angel…angels don’t always have wings.

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Random_act_of_kindness

original photo via leadchangegroup.com

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www.dorindaduclos.com

All Rights Reserved

My Two Dads

03 Tuesday Dec 2013

Posted by in Death, Life, Love, My Thoughts

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In October I shared my story of the three women who inspired my life, Me, Myself & I.  Now I’d like to share my story about the two men who inspired me.  They’re both gone now, but they will never be gone from my heart.  The things they instilled in me will live on as long as I do…and beyond.

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Meet Frank, my dad, affectionately known as Sonny Boy. Manhatten born and raised, his dream was to be a New York Yankee.  He had an incredible love for baseball.  He even tried out for the team but didn’t make it.  My mom always tells the story of how my dad played stick ball hours before their wedding and hit a homerun.   A Navy veteran, he was always joking, always willing to help out our neighbors, fighting for equality, at a time when such a thing was unheard of.  I am my father’s child.  He taught me how to bowl, how to ride a bike and how to hit & catch a baseball.  I learned a great deal from a man who spent his adult life driving a truck, and later fighting for his life as one of the first recipients of triple bypass heart surgery.  My dad & I had our ups and downs and we stopped speaking to each other for three years, right after my parents divorced.  I was 21 when he contacted me again.  What a wave of emotions.  I don’t think I could put them into words. But it was the best thing to happen for both of us.

The holidays are the hardest time for me.  Dad passed away the morning of December 31, 1985, just five short months after I married, just hours after I said I would call him to wish him a Happy New Year.  Even today, when the phone rings, I expect to hear his voice on the other end, with his cheerful “Hello There!”  I’m blessed that he was able to walk me down the aisle, and dance with my mom one more time.  I’m thankful that Neil & I spent a week with him for part of our honeymoon.  I regret that my children never got the chance to meet him but I make sure they know everything about him.  I see him in them every day.

I miss you, daddy, more & more with each day that passes…

Meet Donald, dad number two.  When I lost my dad, Don stepped in and made sure I didn’t lose my way.  Born in Cohoes, NY, he was the scholarly son.  Making his way through the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, dad received his PHD in English and later became a published author on the life of William Faulkner.  An English professor at Paterson State College, which later became William Paterson College and then University, he spent his teaching career in the English department, at one point as the department chair.  And boy could he cook!  When he wasn’t doing the English thing, you could find him working at his second passion.  Luckily, that rubbed off on his son 😉

We lost Don on November 4, 1988, on Neil’s birthday.  Jonathan, our son, was blessed to have had his Pop Pop Don for a short 18 months.  What I’ll remember most about Don is that he always encouraged the best in people, including me.  When I showed him a piece I had written many years ago, a children’s story, he told me I should be published.  I laughed, taking his comments half-heartedly.  And yet I find myself doing exactly what he told me I should be doing.  Writing.  I hope I make him proud.

So you see, from November through December, our lives could be very solemn.  But they’re not.  We celebrate these two men and everything they gave us. They couldn’t be more opposite of each other but both have had an incredible impact on my life.  I wouldn’t trade that for the world.

Thank you for reading….it’s a personal side to me that I don’t often share beyond my closest family & friends.  But I felt I needed to let others know how grand having two dads really is.

Now you’ve met the five most influential people in my life.  My wish is that you, too, have at least one of these souls to enrich your life…to guide you.

Happy Thanksgiving

27 Wednesday Nov 2013

Posted by in Life, Love, My Thoughts

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No story today, just my thanks, to the people who matter most in my life…

I am thankful for my husband , a man who loves me and supports me in good times and in bad.  I am thankful for my children who remind me that laughter is living.  I am thankful for my Mom whose many sacrifices helped mold me along the way.  I am thankful to the rest of my family for making life fun.

I am thankful for a roof over my head and food on the table.

I am thankful for my friends, especially the ones who never let me down, who always have my back.  You know who you are.

I am thankful for the men and women who sacrifice their lives and family time to protect mine.

Most of all….I am thankful that God has given me another day to experience life to its fullest.

Have a Blessed Thanksgiving.

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