Tag Archives: family

Oh SNAP! Can you feed me?

01 Friday Nov 2013

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While Americans continue to battle with a website that promises affordable healthcare for all, millions more are now facing yet another government disappointment.  As of today, many will see a cut in their food stamps due to the expiration of the Supplemental Nutrition Assistant Program (SNAP) recession-era boost.  The plan will cut roughly $36 a month for a family of four.  Those who rely on food stamps will now have to cut back on something else in their household in order to make up for the reduction in benefits.

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Thirty six dollars may not sound like a big deal to some Americans, but people on food stamps rely on the program because their income does not allow for them to take care of their overall family expenses simply from their paycheck.  And of course there’s the other side of the story, too.  Who’s playing the system?  This, among other things, drives the cost of programs, until they sky rocket and have to be cut in order to remain active.  Currently, a family of four must gross $2552 or net (after allowable deductions) $1963 monthly to be eligible for SNAP.

And this brings me to my next question.  Why are we sending billions of dollars in aid to other countries when we can’t even afford to feed our own?  While you’re thinking about this, and I hope you are, grab a few cans of tuna or whatever you have extra of lying around your home, and take it to your local food bank.

Copyright 2013

dorindaduclos.com

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original photo via crazyhorsesghost.hubpages.com

Three Days After – The Nevada School Shooting

25 Friday Oct 2013

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It’s only been three days but officials in Sparks, Nevada have been slow to release any further information about what may have been the motive behind the October 22nd shootings, siting the ongoing investigation.  Major publications have submitted formal public record requests for the release of the shooters name, saying this information could possibly aid in the understanding of why this 12 year old opened fire on his classmates, a teacher and then took his own life.

“Under Nevada law, it is illegal to allow anyone under 18 to handle a gun without supervision. The offense rises to a felony if there was substantial risk the child would use the firearm to commit a violent act. However, the law doesn’t apply if the gun was stored securely or if the child obtained the weapon unlawfully.”  via The Associated Press.

Police have said they are looking into the parents, other adults & how the boy managed to obtain the gun unnoticed.  No word as to whether or not his parents could be charged.  District Attorney Richard Gammick said he is waiting for the police to present their case to him before deciding if charges will be filed and against whom.

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I’m having a lot of trouble with this.  While I understand that it takes time to determine exactly what happened, and let’s be honest, we may never know unless the boy left behind a note, I still don’t understand where the parents are in all of this.  If your child is acting in an out of the norm way, why didn’t you notice?  I’ve said this before, it’s not a phase.  And I’ll tell you why.

Some sources, mainly other students, are claiming this boy was bullied.  And that an anti-bullying  video shown to these 12 year old’s depicts a child retaliating by bringing a gun to school.  Don’t get me started!!  Why would anyone show this video, or even make this video, in light of all the school shootings, especially to impressionable teens? As the mother of a child who was bullied in middle school, I can address this issue.  Trust me, if you are active in your child’s life, and I don’t mean social life, I mean their LIFE, you notice!!  Their demeanor completely changes.  They become withdrawn, they lash out at you & other siblings, they struggle to tell someone because the conflict inside is so great due to peer pressure.  “Do I tell Mom & Dad?”, “Do I tell a teacher about the kids?”, Will they target me even further if I rat them out?”  A 12 year old cannot figure out these facts for himself.  In my case, aside from the fact that the kids in question made a huge mistake by actually calling my daughter specific names, from the bus window, while she was in the car…with me, she was being cyber-bullied.  The flood gates opened and I immediately contacted school officials.  We met with the Resource Officer ( a policeman assigned to the school) & the principal and WE ratted out those kids.  Their parents were called in and the bullying stopped.  Don’t be afraid to take a stand.  And show your children the right way to stand up for themselves.  There should never be a time where a child needs to take a weapon to prove a point….and then take his or her own life to solidify that point.  To say that I am heartbroken over all of this would be the understatement of the year.

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http://www.dorindaduclos.com

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original photo lanas20something.blogspot.com

Why Did You Have Children? A letter to my son…

23 Wednesday Oct 2013

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How many of us have been asked this question or one similar to it?  How many of us answered the way we thought others expected us to?  Recently, my 26 year old asked me that question.  I was actually caught off guard.   My answer was “because Dad & I wanted to”, to which he replied, “but why?”.  I didn’t answer him then but I will now.  Jonathan, this is for you…

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“When Dad and I married, we swore before God and our friends and family, to freely accept children into our lives.  And we did. We wanted to be able to give you the life we had, to grow up in a world filled with love, family & friends.  It hasn’t been easy, and while I realize you are going through a rough time right now, questioning the why’s of a lot of what the world has handed you, you have to realize that your life grows from here.   You have a lot to offer this world, your kindness, your wit and most of all your love. This is only the beginning of your journey.  You have an incredible personality, an artistic ability beyond compare and you rock as a big brother to Alyssa.  Now you need to see that for yourself.  When I speak about you, I smile.  Ok, sometimes it’s a sneer but it’s close enough.  That’s what children do.  They evoke emotions  in you that no one will ever understand unless they’ve actually experienced it.  The choice to have a child is ultimately yours and whomever you chose to spend the rest of your life with.  No one can ever really tell you “why”.  I can only hope that Dad & I have set a good example for you to follow.  We’re very proud to call you our son and we love you, bud.”

In today’s society, our children are a true reflection of who we are.  Take the time to nurture them, guide them, teach them and most importantly love them.  Remember, they’re the ones who pick your nursing home 😉

Me, Myself & I

20 Sunday Oct 2013

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I was born in October of 1960, in Passaic, NJ.  I didn’t make it easy.  No way.  I was born breech.  Yep, I started out life by mooning the world.  Mom should have known at that point that I would be trouble.  I spent the first two plus years of my life in the East New York section of Brooklyn, NY.  Mom & Dad lived & worked in NJ and I was raised by my maternal grandmother, and my aunt Dee, who is really more like a sister to me.  We are only ten years apart.  I saw my parents on the weekends.  It was how it had to be.  They needed to work to give me a good home.  I didn’t understand that then but as I grew older I learned to appreciate all they sacrificed for me.

Eventually, we all moved to NJ,  Nana, Dee, & me, into the house Mom & Dad had just finished building.   I was very lucky to have three strong women in my life.   Let me tell you about them.

Nana.  Rose Marie.  A seamstress in New York’s garment district, I credit her for who I am today.  She was a no nonsense woman who told it like it was.  I didn’t get away with anything.  In fact, none of us did!  I tried to pull a fast one, on a day I didn’t want to go to school.  We walked to school, never had to worry that some stranger would take us, and so I walked.  And when I got there, I turned around and walked back home.  I knocked on the front door.  Nana opened the door and asked why I was there.  Now, being four years old, you’re not always smart enough to realize you need an excuse!  I blurted out the first thing I could think of…. “They didn’t have a hanger for my coat”.  I got the raised eye brow and the mmmhmmm and was turned around and told to go back to school.  She closed the door behind her.  Now you may think that sounds cruel, but it wasn’t.  She taught me a lesson.  One…don’t lie, you’ll get caught.  Two, take responsibility for your actions.  She was the most loving, warmhearted human being I’ve ever known and I miss her more & more with every passing day.

My Mom.  An amazing woman, who wanted nothing but the best for her family.  A hard worker, she began her career in a bank, because, she says,” I didn’t want to be the stereotypical secretary or teacher”.  Back then, those were the options for women.  After the bank, she worked for the same company for 42 years, retiring as their VP of Finance.  I am an only child.  I was not spoiled.  I was taught that if I wanted it, I had to earn it.  When I graduated high school, I was told college or get a job.  I chose the workforce, beginning my 20 year career as a pharmacy technician, eventually starting my own successful business.  In between, I went to school at night for computer science.  Mom wouldn’t hear of a student loan and so she fronted me, telling me I better finish what I started.  I graduated with honors, 2nd in my class.  Her gift to me…the loan was paid in full.  To say I admire this woman’s strength and perseverance would be an understatement.  She’s still a tough cookie but she’s softened over the years, especially were her grandchildren are concerned.

And last, but certainly not least, Aunt Dee.  We never called her that.  She was always Dee Dee, Dee, Denyse, simply because she really was so close in age to me and all of my cousins.  I have always considered her my sister.  She was, and is, there for me more times than I can count.  Always ready to lend a hand, help with a project, do my hair just right, oh yeah, and as she likes to remind me, swing me up on her shoulders and sing “here she comes, Miss America”.  Today, she is battling Multiple Sclerosis.  She is my inspiration as I battle MS’s cousin, Transverse Myelitis.  She’s the proof that you should never give up fighting.  Life hands you battles, you have to be the one to win…

These three women molded me into the confident person I am today.  The no nonsense individual who does not put up with any crap from anyone.  I stand my ground but I am also aware that, at times,  it may be necessary to say I was wrong, and I’m not afraid to do that. To simply say thank you to them is not nearly enough.

….and that is my story….for now.