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Night Owl Poetry – Dorinda Duclos

~ "The silence of the night awakens my soul"

Night Owl Poetry – Dorinda Duclos

Tag Archives: Children

Three Days After – The Nevada School Shooting

25 Friday Oct 2013

Posted by Dorinda Duclos in Life, My Thoughts

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Associated Press, Bullying, Children, family, guns, law, life, Nevada, parents, school shooting, sparks, Sparks Middle School, teenagers, www.dorindaduclos.com

It’s only been three days but officials in Sparks, Nevada have been slow to release any further information about what may have been the motive behind the October 22nd shootings, siting the ongoing investigation.  Major publications have submitted formal public record requests for the release of the shooters name, saying this information could possibly aid in the understanding of why this 12 year old opened fire on his classmates, a teacher and then took his own life.

“Under Nevada law, it is illegal to allow anyone under 18 to handle a gun without supervision. The offense rises to a felony if there was substantial risk the child would use the firearm to commit a violent act. However, the law doesn’t apply if the gun was stored securely or if the child obtained the weapon unlawfully.”  via The Associated Press.

Police have said they are looking into the parents, other adults & how the boy managed to obtain the gun unnoticed.  No word as to whether or not his parents could be charged.  District Attorney Richard Gammick said he is waiting for the police to present their case to him before deciding if charges will be filed and against whom.

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I’m having a lot of trouble with this.  While I understand that it takes time to determine exactly what happened, and let’s be honest, we may never know unless the boy left behind a note, I still don’t understand where the parents are in all of this.  If your child is acting in an out of the norm way, why didn’t you notice?  I’ve said this before, it’s not a phase.  And I’ll tell you why.

Some sources, mainly other students, are claiming this boy was bullied.  And that an anti-bullying  video shown to these 12 year old’s depicts a child retaliating by bringing a gun to school.  Don’t get me started!!  Why would anyone show this video, or even make this video, in light of all the school shootings, especially to impressionable teens? As the mother of a child who was bullied in middle school, I can address this issue.  Trust me, if you are active in your child’s life, and I don’t mean social life, I mean their LIFE, you notice!!  Their demeanor completely changes.  They become withdrawn, they lash out at you & other siblings, they struggle to tell someone because the conflict inside is so great due to peer pressure.  “Do I tell Mom & Dad?”, “Do I tell a teacher about the kids?”, Will they target me even further if I rat them out?”  A 12 year old cannot figure out these facts for himself.  In my case, aside from the fact that the kids in question made a huge mistake by actually calling my daughter specific names, from the bus window, while she was in the car…with me, she was being cyber-bullied.  The flood gates opened and I immediately contacted school officials.  We met with the Resource Officer ( a policeman assigned to the school) & the principal and WE ratted out those kids.  Their parents were called in and the bullying stopped.  Don’t be afraid to take a stand.  And show your children the right way to stand up for themselves.  There should never be a time where a child needs to take a weapon to prove a point….and then take his or her own life to solidify that point.  To say that I am heartbroken over all of this would be the understatement of the year.

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original photo lanas20something.blogspot.com

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Why Did You Have Children? A letter to my son…

23 Wednesday Oct 2013

Posted by Dorinda Duclos in Life, My Thoughts

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Children, dorindaduclos.com, family, friends, humor, Jonathan Duclos, life, love, questions, society

How many of us have been asked this question or one similar to it?  How many of us answered the way we thought others expected us to?  Recently, my 26 year old asked me that question.  I was actually caught off guard.   My answer was “because Dad & I wanted to”, to which he replied, “but why?”.  I didn’t answer him then but I will now.  Jonathan, this is for you…

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“When Dad and I married, we swore before God and our friends and family, to freely accept children into our lives.  And we did. We wanted to be able to give you the life we had, to grow up in a world filled with love, family & friends.  It hasn’t been easy, and while I realize you are going through a rough time right now, questioning the why’s of a lot of what the world has handed you, you have to realize that your life grows from here.   You have a lot to offer this world, your kindness, your wit and most of all your love. This is only the beginning of your journey.  You have an incredible personality, an artistic ability beyond compare and you rock as a big brother to Alyssa.  Now you need to see that for yourself.  When I speak about you, I smile.  Ok, sometimes it’s a sneer but it’s close enough.  That’s what children do.  They evoke emotions  in you that no one will ever understand unless they’ve actually experienced it.  The choice to have a child is ultimately yours and whomever you chose to spend the rest of your life with.  No one can ever really tell you “why”.  I can only hope that Dad & I have set a good example for you to follow.  We’re very proud to call you our son and we love you, bud.”

In today’s society, our children are a true reflection of who we are.  Take the time to nurture them, guide them, teach them and most importantly love them.  Remember, they’re the ones who pick your nursing home 😉

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Tragedy in America

22 Tuesday Oct 2013

Posted by Dorinda Duclos in Life, My Thoughts

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

9/11, America, Bullying, Children, Columbine, dorindaduclos.com, freedom, gun control, Nevada, Newtown CT, NYC, Oklahoma City, parenting, school shootings, Technology

Once again we are faced with a tragedy, a school shooting in Nevada, that left two wounded and two dead, including the shooter.  It seems we cannot look away for long before we are confronted with violence that has no meaning.  Not that violence should ever have a meaning, that’s not what I’m saying at all.  I just don’t understand what provokes a 13 year old child to take a gun and just show up at school, aiming at fellow classmates.  Was he bullied?  According to one eye witness, the young man was questioning others “why you people making fun of me, why you laughing at me?” <source Christian Science Monitor>.  Did the administration screw up? Were they aware of the bullying and ignoring it? A beloved teacher tried to calm the shooter down and the gun was turned on him, killing him.

And I have to ask, where were his parents in all of this?  The obligation, and yes, if you have children you have an obligation, of a parent is to nurture their child, to teach them morals, ethics, boundaries and most importantly self-respect & respect for others.   To keep them safe, including mental health issues if need be.  You cannot ignore a child who is suddenly acting out of the normal and shrug it off as a phase they’re going through.  You don’t have to hover but you do have to observe, and not from behind your iphone or tablet or whatever electronic device the world is attached to today.

statuelibertycry

As I look back over the past several years, the Boston Marathon bombing, Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT 2012, September 11, 2001, Columbine High School 1999, The Oklahoma City Bombing in 1995, and so many others in between, I have to stop to think, is this the America I knew…land of the free, home of the brave?  Are we in a place where we are now more vulnerable to attacks in our homes and our schools?  Do you feel safer than ever before?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this…please share them.

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