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Night Owl Poetry – Dorinda Duclos

~ "The silence of the night awakens my soul"

Night Owl Poetry – Dorinda Duclos

Category Archives: Life

Why Did You Have Children? A letter to my son…

23 Wednesday Oct 2013

Posted by Dorinda Duclos in Life, My Thoughts

≈ 2 Comments

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Children, dorindaduclos.com, family, friends, humor, Jonathan Duclos, life, love, questions, society

How many of us have been asked this question or one similar to it?  How many of us answered the way we thought others expected us to?  Recently, my 26 year old asked me that question.  I was actually caught off guard.   My answer was “because Dad & I wanted to”, to which he replied, “but why?”.  I didn’t answer him then but I will now.  Jonathan, this is for you…

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“When Dad and I married, we swore before God and our friends and family, to freely accept children into our lives.  And we did. We wanted to be able to give you the life we had, to grow up in a world filled with love, family & friends.  It hasn’t been easy, and while I realize you are going through a rough time right now, questioning the why’s of a lot of what the world has handed you, you have to realize that your life grows from here.   You have a lot to offer this world, your kindness, your wit and most of all your love. This is only the beginning of your journey.  You have an incredible personality, an artistic ability beyond compare and you rock as a big brother to Alyssa.  Now you need to see that for yourself.  When I speak about you, I smile.  Ok, sometimes it’s a sneer but it’s close enough.  That’s what children do.  They evoke emotions  in you that no one will ever understand unless they’ve actually experienced it.  The choice to have a child is ultimately yours and whomever you chose to spend the rest of your life with.  No one can ever really tell you “why”.  I can only hope that Dad & I have set a good example for you to follow.  We’re very proud to call you our son and we love you, bud.”

In today’s society, our children are a true reflection of who we are.  Take the time to nurture them, guide them, teach them and most importantly love them.  Remember, they’re the ones who pick your nursing home 😉

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Tragedy in America

22 Tuesday Oct 2013

Posted by Dorinda Duclos in Life, My Thoughts

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

9/11, America, Bullying, Children, Columbine, dorindaduclos.com, freedom, gun control, Nevada, Newtown CT, NYC, Oklahoma City, parenting, school shootings, Technology

Once again we are faced with a tragedy, a school shooting in Nevada, that left two wounded and two dead, including the shooter.  It seems we cannot look away for long before we are confronted with violence that has no meaning.  Not that violence should ever have a meaning, that’s not what I’m saying at all.  I just don’t understand what provokes a 13 year old child to take a gun and just show up at school, aiming at fellow classmates.  Was he bullied?  According to one eye witness, the young man was questioning others “why you people making fun of me, why you laughing at me?” <source Christian Science Monitor>.  Did the administration screw up? Were they aware of the bullying and ignoring it? A beloved teacher tried to calm the shooter down and the gun was turned on him, killing him.

And I have to ask, where were his parents in all of this?  The obligation, and yes, if you have children you have an obligation, of a parent is to nurture their child, to teach them morals, ethics, boundaries and most importantly self-respect & respect for others.   To keep them safe, including mental health issues if need be.  You cannot ignore a child who is suddenly acting out of the normal and shrug it off as a phase they’re going through.  You don’t have to hover but you do have to observe, and not from behind your iphone or tablet or whatever electronic device the world is attached to today.

statuelibertycry

As I look back over the past several years, the Boston Marathon bombing, Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT 2012, September 11, 2001, Columbine High School 1999, The Oklahoma City Bombing in 1995, and so many others in between, I have to stop to think, is this the America I knew…land of the free, home of the brave?  Are we in a place where we are now more vulnerable to attacks in our homes and our schools?  Do you feel safer than ever before?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this…please share them.

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Me, Myself & I

20 Sunday Oct 2013

Posted by Dorinda Duclos in Life, My Thoughts

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

Brooklyn, family, life. dorindaduclos.com, love, women

I was born in October of 1960, in Passaic, NJ.  I didn’t make it easy.  No way.  I was born breech.  Yep, I started out life by mooning the world.  Mom should have known at that point that I would be trouble.  I spent the first two plus years of my life in the East New York section of Brooklyn, NY.  Mom & Dad lived & worked in NJ and I was raised by my maternal grandmother, and my aunt Dee, who is really more like a sister to me.  We are only ten years apart.  I saw my parents on the weekends.  It was how it had to be.  They needed to work to give me a good home.  I didn’t understand that then but as I grew older I learned to appreciate all they sacrificed for me.

Eventually, we all moved to NJ,  Nana, Dee, & me, into the house Mom & Dad had just finished building.   I was very lucky to have three strong women in my life.   Let me tell you about them.

Nana.  Rose Marie.  A seamstress in New York’s garment district, I credit her for who I am today.  She was a no nonsense woman who told it like it was.  I didn’t get away with anything.  In fact, none of us did!  I tried to pull a fast one, on a day I didn’t want to go to school.  We walked to school, never had to worry that some stranger would take us, and so I walked.  And when I got there, I turned around and walked back home.  I knocked on the front door.  Nana opened the door and asked why I was there.  Now, being four years old, you’re not always smart enough to realize you need an excuse!  I blurted out the first thing I could think of…. “They didn’t have a hanger for my coat”.  I got the raised eye brow and the mmmhmmm and was turned around and told to go back to school.  She closed the door behind her.  Now you may think that sounds cruel, but it wasn’t.  She taught me a lesson.  One…don’t lie, you’ll get caught.  Two, take responsibility for your actions.  She was the most loving, warmhearted human being I’ve ever known and I miss her more & more with every passing day.

My Mom.  An amazing woman, who wanted nothing but the best for her family.  A hard worker, she began her career in a bank, because, she says,” I didn’t want to be the stereotypical secretary or teacher”.  Back then, those were the options for women.  After the bank, she worked for the same company for 42 years, retiring as their VP of Finance.  I am an only child.  I was not spoiled.  I was taught that if I wanted it, I had to earn it.  When I graduated high school, I was told college or get a job.  I chose the workforce, beginning my 20 year career as a pharmacy technician, eventually starting my own successful business.  In between, I went to school at night for computer science.  Mom wouldn’t hear of a student loan and so she fronted me, telling me I better finish what I started.  I graduated with honors, 2nd in my class.  Her gift to me…the loan was paid in full.  To say I admire this woman’s strength and perseverance would be an understatement.  She’s still a tough cookie but she’s softened over the years, especially were her grandchildren are concerned.

And last, but certainly not least, Aunt Dee.  We never called her that.  She was always Dee Dee, Dee, Denyse, simply because she really was so close in age to me and all of my cousins.  I have always considered her my sister.  She was, and is, there for me more times than I can count.  Always ready to lend a hand, help with a project, do my hair just right, oh yeah, and as she likes to remind me, swing me up on her shoulders and sing “here she comes, Miss America”.  Today, she is battling Multiple Sclerosis.  She is my inspiration as I battle MS’s cousin, Transverse Myelitis.  She’s the proof that you should never give up fighting.  Life hands you battles, you have to be the one to win…

These three women molded me into the confident person I am today.  The no nonsense individual who does not put up with any crap from anyone.  I stand my ground but I am also aware that, at times,  it may be necessary to say I was wrong, and I’m not afraid to do that. To simply say thank you to them is not nearly enough.

….and that is my story….for now.

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