Tags
#darkpoetry, #poetry, dorindaduclos.com, dreams, emotion, night, Night Owl Poetry, night terrors, nightmares, no sleep, panic attacks, poems, visions, writing
The medication is beginning to wear thin
Night terrors return, with a frantic fury
Evoking strange visions, conjuring the dark
Encapsulating me, like a jail cell, but the bars!
Claustrophobia has nothing on these feelings
Like solitary confinement, there’s no escape
I’m trapped in my own fear, flailing my arms
Still you sleep, with me screaming on the inside
And you not hearing on the outside, please wake up!
Unlock this oubliette, find the door to set me free
I call your name, no response, the silence deafens
My heart, racing, beating, as it longs to release
Scattered breaths, this taunting inside me
And when it finally does, I am spent, and you wake
Realizing, this is my life, this is how I cope with it
I panic, it attacks, with no cavalry to rescue me
No savior, only me, finally fighting my way out
The easiest way to deal with this, is to not sleep
So I don’t, and I won’t, and I can’t live like this
©2018 Dorinda Duclos All Rights Reserved
Photo via Pixabay CC0
Rob McShane said:
The darkness in the dark…and mostly medication induced…AI! Feel for you…
Hopefully changes soon…
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Dorinda Duclos said:
Thanks so much, Rob. I hope so. It’s just nasty 😦
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Walt Page, The Tennessee Poet said:
What I deal with is nothing compared to what you have to deal with. I am so sorry to learn of this suffering you contend with. Hugs dear friend. ☺❤
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Dorinda Duclos said:
Thank you, Walt. But your battles are there, too, not to be diminished by others Sending hugs your way, hopefully they will heal both of us ❤
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Walt Page, The Tennessee Poet said:
Thank you Dorinda, for your kind words and for the hugs. They may non heal us, but for a moment we will forget the pain. ☺❤
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Dorinda Duclos said:
🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
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johnfreda said:
Absolutely, hands-down…my favorite piece written by you. It just connects with me.
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Dorinda Duclos said:
I can’t say I’m happy to hear that, but I completely understand. We are quite the pair, aren’t we LOL
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johnfreda said:
Isn’t it rich….aren’t we a pair…YOU WITH YOUR HEAD IN THE AIR…I just sang that out loud, in public. Don’t tell your daughter….
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Dorinda Duclos said:
You mixed up the words!!! I’d like to be rich. Does that count?
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Betty Hayes Albright said:
Hope your doctor can change your medications and hopefully end these nightly terrors. May you start having peaceful, happy dreams soon, Dorinda.
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Dorinda Duclos said:
Thank you so much, Betty! I hope so, too 🙂
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Tom's Nature-up-close Photography and Mindfulness Blog said:
Awareness and harmony during the day can help with having a night of real rejuvenating rest and renewal. 🙂
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Dorinda Duclos said:
I know, Tom, but there are underlying issues here I would love to be able to achieve that, but right now, it’s not possible.
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Erika Kind said:
My God, this is terrifying, Dorinda. I saw in the comments it is no fiction at all. For how long are you experiencing this?
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Dorinda Duclos said:
It’s been a about three months, since some of my medications changed. I see the doc shortly,so hopefully will be able to put an end to all this nonsense. My poor family, what they endure through this is enough to make anyone run, and quickly. But they don’t, and I am truly blessed ❤
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Erika Kind said:
I had no idea. I am sorry for what you are going through and I hope from the bottom of my heart too that this ends very soon. Huge hugs to you, Dorinda 💖
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Dorinda Duclos said:
I don’t really like to talk about these things, but I hoped by releasing it through writing, I would be able to deal with it better. So far, so good. Hugs, my friend!! ❤
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V.J. Knutson said:
These dark places – how we loathe them – and yet, how ripe with inspiration.
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Dorinda Duclos said:
Isn’t it amazing how they are able to do that?!
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V.J. Knutson said:
I know that’s been my experience. Don’t mean to downplay yours. Take care.
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Dorinda Duclos said:
I was agreeing with you! The worst of times seem to bring out the best in us with writing. It just amazes me!!
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Penny Wilson Writes said:
I hope this is a work of fiction! Frightening!
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Dorinda Duclos said:
Sadly, no, this is real. It’s what I deal with, but I won’t let it get me down. 🙂
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Steve (AKA Esteban) said:
I know that oubliette, found the door to set me free.
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Dorinda Duclos said:
Yes, I know the door, and He is my light in the darkness…but sometimes the door gets stuck, and I have to fight it myself. 🙂
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Steve (AKA Esteban) said:
Those are my worst fights. Your use of oubliette reminded me … He never forgets, unlike our captors who would forget us in their dark dungeons with tricky trap doors.
Forgive me, but your poem of dark suffering shined joyful light into my dungeon.
Why, in your opinion, do the best writers suffer so intensely?
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Dorinda Duclos said:
We write from our soul. There are so many emotions, and some are grand and some are not. Sometimes, they get mixed together. It’s really hard to describe what a writer is feeling, but most of us have some sort of battle we are fighting. Writing helps take us one step closer to winning.
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Steve (AKA Esteban) said:
Thanks Dorinda. Do you believe we can write the ending chapter first? Sorry for all the questions … I’m trying to get my hands on the key to the oubliette on the top of my cell 😐
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Dorinda Duclos said:
Never apologize! We learn by asking. My answer would be no. We build our chapters through our trials. Without them, the pages would be blank. We would learn nothing. The journey to the key is never an easy one, but it’s so worth it!!
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Penny Wilson Writes said:
Sending hugs! ❤
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Dorinda Duclos said:
Thank you!! Greatly appreciated ❤
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kaylaannauthor said:
Dorinda, what a powerful poem. As someone who suffers from night paralysis, I can completely relate
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Dorinda Duclos said:
Thank you, KaylaAnn. It’s a horrific feeling, one I don’t wish on anyone 😦
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